Dean Harder
Where relationships matter, so too do conversations
You’ve experienced the good, the bad, and even some ugly interactions with people. You’re in the place right now where you can find out how to become an even more impactful communicator within your business, organization and your team. Shoot, you can even become more impactful with your closest partners, friends and family. Keep reading more to learn how!
The 2nd H
You probably know something about a sport or two. Sports like basketball, football and soccer play two timed halves. Together the two halves make up a whole game. Being a pumpkin-pusher back in the day – a basketball player – it still amazes me how different the 2nd half of a game can play out when compared to the 1st half.
You are either in the first or second half of your own life. I’m in the second half of mine, that is if I don’t live past 114.
The 2nd H is the Second Half
Are you a part of this first list?
The people below were in the 2nd half of their lives when they shifted gears. Perhaps you’ve heard of them.
- Ray Kroc was 52 when he opened his first McDonald’s.
- Colonel Sanders founded the finger-licking Kentucky Fried Chicken restaurant franchise when he turned 65.
- May Tennyson designed and started selling fashionable, walker-friendly purses at the age of 63.
- Leo Goodwin founded GEICO (Government Employee Insurance Company) at age 50.
- Carol Gardner turned a challenge from her therapist into a multi-million-dollar card business, Zelda Wisdom, at the age of 52.
Or do you see yourself in the next list?
The 2nd Half doesn’t have to be solely based on age. You may be in your 20’s, 30’s or even early 40’s with hopes of living to be 100 yourself. Below are a few successful musicians who found a second calling in life when they were considered to be in their 1st half of life.
Brian May, Queen guitarist earned his PhD in astrophysics in 2007, and served as Chancellor of Liverpool’s John Moore’s University from 2007 to 2013. Dr. May continues to play guitar with Queen.
Terry Chimes, the original drummer for The Clash, dating back to 1976, ultimately became a practicing chiropractor in 1994, and is the proprietor and chief practitioner of Chimes Chiropractic in East London.
Ross Valory, a founding member of the band Journey, also co-founded MouthMan, a children’s clothing company.
Jeff “Skunk” Baxter, master guitarist was a founding member of Steely Dan, as well as a member of The Doobie Brothers. In the 1980s, while chatting with a neighbor who was a retired Pentagon engineer, Baxter began wondering whether existing high-tech military systems could be adapted for other purposes.
Since 1994, Baxter has worked as a consultant to various government agencies & private companies on missile defense since his research paper on converting the United States Aegis Anti-Aircraft system to a missile defense system caught the eye of the Department of Defense.
Source: considerable.com
Most don’t want to be in this third group?
You could actually be in the 2nd half of your life and not even know it. This reality is by far the biggest reason why I have felt the nudge to shift course in my own life. I may get to 112 someday, or I may be gone from this earth tomorrow.
Tim McGraw’s song, “Live like you were Dying” was written by Tim Nichols and Craig Wiseman. Check out the song if you’ve never listened to it before. The lyric that hits me right between the eyes every time I listen to McGraw sing the song is ‘And he said: “Someday I hope you get the chance to live like you were dyin”’
This is why the 2nd Half isn’t solely about your age. Below are a handful of younger people who accomplished much in their 2nd half of life.
List 3
- Jessica Dubroff, a pilot, died in a plane crash. Jessica was 7.
- Jim Croce, an American Folk & Rock singer died at the age of 40.
- John Harvard, former Clergyman known as the founder of Harvard College, dead at 31.
- William Nelson, a General Electric employee, invented a new way to motorize bicycles. Nelson fell off his prototype bike during a test run. He was 24.
- Johann Ritter discovered ultraviolet radiation in 1801. He was 34 when he died.
Most don’t want to be in this third group?
The 2nd Half Vision
Over the past 56 years my journey has taken me from a family farm in Mountain Lake, MN to splitting time between two neighborhoods – one in Indiana, the other in Florida.
The 1st Half of my life was mostly about…
- the pursuit of education – a college degree & further formal education
- the pursuit of a career – a teacher, a fundraiser, a farmer, a financial professional
- the pursuit of success – recognized for being good at what I do
- the pursuit of personal enjoyment – being entertained
- the pursuit of stuff – you know, all the stuff you don’t think about when your days are #’d
The 2nd Half of my life is unwritten, may it be mostly about…
- the pursuit of purpose – living for something other than me
- the pursuit of understanding & wisdom – starting with truth
- the pursuit of intimacy – building authentic relationship with family & sacred friends
- the pursuit of personal accountability – seeing iron sharpen iron
- the pursuit of legacy – being remembered for helping others live their best lives
- the pursuit of forgiveness – knowing healing doesn’t really happen without forgiveness
- the pursuit of love – giving & receiving genuine love
So what Dean!
There is no denying I feel like I’m being called to do something I’ve never done.
Let’s put to rest that you will not find a fast-food franchise coming to the market named “Harder’s”. Nor will you find me auditioning with Queen to take the place of Dr. May. And I have no plans to invent a contraption that looks like a hovercraft recliner.
Start Here
You will learn how to use…
- TIDADS to frame every single conversation & interaction you have
- P-PASS to help people see their reality, as well as their possibilities
- WHaa to help others bring their future pain into the present moment
- Ready-Set-Go to start & sync up each of your conversations
You will…
- attract the right person to the right conversation
- engage the right person in the right dialogue
- watch that right person compel themselves to take the right action
Your confidence will soar in your…
- 1:1 conversations
- presentations to rooms of 5, 10, 20 or more
- addresses to groups of 500, 5,000, 10,000 or even more.
- email, phone call & messaging interactions
- spur-of-the-moment chats
You will discover your…
- unique skills
- ace-in-the-hole talent
- most limiting blind spots
- real value to others
- spur-of-the-moment chats
You will develop your…
- ability to design repeatable conversations
- conversations around real stories
- knack for simplifying complex stuff without losing the complexity
- effective use of the back-of-the-napkin approach
Start Here
Most who teach & train others in communication tend to start with, “Here’s how you do it!” Stop! Before you ever attempt to do something different, you should first have someone observe you doing what you do. Almost always the “Here’s how you do it!” approach unmistakably acts as a one-size-fits-all. Your ability to connect with and help others is not like anyone else. You are unique. You likely already share meaningful words with the people you serve. So, you must first have proof how you actually communicate with others, and you cannot observe yourself to find the proof. You won’t – in fact you can’t – see your own blind spots.
Stop Pitching is the spark that lit a fire. A fiery passion to build a place where clear, powerful, meaningful, impactful conversations happen among people. For all of your life you have been building a seemingly endless list of interactions with people. You have most certainly experienced some high points.
And there is a good chance you have had some low points too. Blind spots may be one of the most neglected weaknesses you and I share.
And the reality is you can’t see your own blind spots. If you could, it wouldn’t be called a blind spot.
Once you recognize your blind spots, you will be asking yourself, “So, now what?” 
is a place where powerful frameworks, like TIDADS, P-PASS, and WHaa, among others have been designed to give you structure in your 1:1 conversations, in your presentations to a room of 5, 10, 15 or 20, as well as in your addresses to groups of 500, 1,000, 10,000 or even more. You will also rely on these versatile techniques to guide you as you write emails, make phone calls, as well as effectively navigate spontaneous conversations. Can you think of any reason why you wouldn’t want to know how to be even more impactful in your conversations with the people you serve? How bout we have a simple 30-minute visit – no strings attached?
This insightful and eye-opening book will show you how to attract and engage others into meaningful dialogue so that the other person compels themself to take action that helps them get what they want.
This insightful and eye-opening book will show you how to attract and engage others into meaningful dialogue so that the other person compels themself to take action that helps them get what they want.
Get STOP PITCHING Today!
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Looking back…
How important is communication in your life? Most likely from the moment you get up until the time you go to bed, you communicate with someone about something. Communication has been a massive part of my life and it started at a young age. How effective was your communication when you were young? Fortunately for me, youth organizations like 4-H, FFA, and even high school theatre provided platforms to develop my communication style, ability and effectiveness.
Think back to your early 20’s… What if someone told you they needed you to travel around the United States and hop on stage in front of thousands of people? Most people aren’t comfortable with that idea, but because I learned some basic things about communication early on, I was comfortable because I was prepared. You can learn how to be effective and comfortable in your communication too!
As a result of these skills, I traveled to nearly all 50 states across the country to lead, share, train, and speak to both small groups of people, as well as auditoriums filled with thousands. Two trips to the White House, a presentation to Congress, along with hundreds of speeches to peers and adults highlighted a formative period of my life.
In the last quarter of a century, how many opportunities have you had to have conversations with people, whether they be 1:1 or in front of a group? In my last 25 years, there have been thousands of opportunities, usually with one or two people at a time. If you and I had a connection and you invited me to chat, we’d likely sit around your kitchen table or meet at a local coffee shop. That’s what you do with friends.
If you and I talked, what would you want to know about? Well, after nearly three decades in the financial industry I’ve discovered people want to talk about what’s important to them, especially money…how to protect it, how to grow it, and ultimately how to spend and enjoy it! As a result, I’ve been invited to speak, train, and share with peers and industry executives on how to do just that.
